Sasuke is Feeling Sexy and Yummy
by The Orange Blossom
Summary: This is a SasuNaru story. It may not seem like it at first, but it is.
1. Sasuke is Feeling Sexy and Yummy

I-pods.

The people of Konohagakure had such technology as an I-pod.

A raven-haired male, was seat at the base of a tree. Two white cords came out from his ears and down to the black device in his hands. His eyes closed shut, head bobbing bit by bit. Right now, he was in his "emo" phase of the day. Later on it would change to happy, than some other emotion that he couldn't describe. Hatred, love, angst, who knows?

A light rustle of the leaves above him, and the sun changing it's location. Taking away his shade, his precious, precious shade. Eyes open, peering out at the world. No one was around. Not even a simple fangirl was spying on him. Waiting to glomp him at the right moment. The village seemed to empty.

But there were people around, just they were not seen by the Uchiha. Was he blind? No. Never.

He heaved up, out from his comfortable sitting position. To look for a new place to go, but his mood was changing. He was beginning to feel something unknown. Something….like…..beauty? He always felt that. Pride? No, that wasn't it.

He continued to search for the word as he wandered around. He neared a very sunny spot, he no longer wanted to be in the shade. He wanted to be out there.

"SASUKE! I just added something to my Sexy Jutsu!" A blonde haired and blue eyes, boy exclaimed. Running towards him of course. "I call her my Sexy Yummy Jutsu, because not only is she sexy, she has yummy desserts with her."

That was it. Sasuke felt,….yummy. He felt delicious. Like everyone just wanted a taste of him. HE WAS THE ICON OF SEXINESS!!!!

"I'm feeling yummy head to toe. Ain't got no patience so lets go. Look, I'm diet drama, wanna spend the night?" All of this context was aimed towards Naruto. Not just because he was the only person around Sasuke at that moment, well actually it sort of was.

He continued, "Don't bring pajamas, man there's so much heat beneath these clothes. Walk in this place, they know my face. Encore, sophomore, only one solo I swore. Big mouth, applause , oh please one more. Wanna here it before I say naw. Let me check my itinerary. Ummm right, presto, skin tight. Escaped and risked my life. For what? So I can watch them bite."

Sasuke backed Naruto against a tree. Naruto gave him strange looks. But got into the mood, so Sasuke proceeded with the sexy rant. "Only one Sasuke you can find like this, I mean blow your mind like this. Your key won't shine like this, if it's your than you know it won't wind like this."

A crowd gathered round, they didn't stop them. Not even Sasuke's fangirls who would give anything to be in the position that Naruto was in. "I'm feeling yummy head to toe. Ain't got no patience so lets go. Look, I'm diet drama, wanna spend the night? Don't bring pajamas, man there's so much heat beneath the clothes." Sasuke popped his collar and his body rubbed against Naruto's. Boy was this getting good.

"I know you've been waiting, but I've been out making babies and like a chef making donuts and pastries. It's time to make you sweat. Sex and sugar is the flavor, ovens and beaters and graters. Beats made of bongos and shakers. It's time to make you sweat."

Finally one of the audience had had enough. A young woman of the name Ino Yamanaka. "OKAY! That's enough. Naruto get away from Sasuke!" Bottles and whatever else was around were thrown at her.

"Shut up Ino, this is sexy!" Sakura stated, nods could be seen behind her. The whole village agreed that this was super sexy.

Jiraiya ran out of the crowd, "I should write a book about this!"

Kakashi jumped down from a tree and hugged Jiraiya, "That would be so cool! I love your books!"

Jiraiya patted Kakashi's head, wiggled himself from the mans grip and left without a word.

But, the sun went down. The village went….quiet. Naruto disappeared. Everything around Sasuke disappeared. He was alone in a dark nothingness. His love, his hate, his feelings were mute. He tried to speak, but there was nothing. No air, no space, no time to think. He gasped for air, "Someone help me!" He shrieked. No sound. He clutched his throat, fingernails ran deep. His skin coming off. Sasuke peeled himself into muscles. What was happening to him? Where was his skin? Where was his I-pod, where was his Naruto?

Wait, Naruto wasn't his.

A flicker of light. A pinch. A voice. Warmth.

His eyes opened and adjusted to the bright light. He felt something around him, and pink hair. "Sakura get off me."

She moved back and smiled, so happy that he was alright. "Oh Sasuke! Your okay. Naruto said he saw you here and I just wanted to give you some sweets, but when I found you, you were like this and wouldn't wake up."

"I hate sweets." He responded in return to her concern. He pushed her away and stood. It was all a dream. A dream he partly wanted to come true. He wished Naruto felt the same way, that he had dreams about him. But alas, he didn't think so. His blue eyes always found him as a rival. Sasuke felt the same, but he had more than that one feeling.

But what he didn't know, is that Naruto had dreams like that too. He just wanted Sasuke to look at him.

……………

**The idea for this came to me by listening to a song. Yummy by Gwen Stefani. What Sasuke is saying, it actually lyrics to the song. There is going to be another chapter, maybe two more chapters. I don't know, but the next chapter is about Naruto. It's from his point of view. And of course it will have a different name. **


	2. Naruto's Best Day Ever

**Alright, this is the second part of the Sasuke is Feeling Sexy and Yummy. It took me some time to figure out what song to use for this one. Actually, the song that I was gonna use for this one, I decided to use for the next chapter. The chapter is Naruto's point of view. So enjoy.**

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"Better off as lovers and not the other way around."

These lyrics are oh so complicated, yet their feelings are so familiar. Or just the thought.

He had heard them somewhere, somewhere out in his village. Those words had been spoken, or maybe even sung.

If not sung, then maybe Uzumaki Naruto. Konohagakure's loudest, unpredictable, hyperactive knuckleheaded ninja was the one to bring the light into those words.

But that wasn't his point today. His dreams had been sweet-filled. Tasty pastries danced around him and then went into his mouth. They were just so tasty. But there was a secret in those dreams. There was a secret stranger, the one called…..

The day was fresh, and his teammate was okay. Unfortunately. That's how the blonde would think infront of a crowd, but he was thankful that the raven-haired attitude boy was found. His feelings would be saved from showing themselves again.

Today he had a journey at hand, that was reason for his being up so early. He jumped out of bed, feeling it was the best day ever.

"Mister sun came up and he smiled at me. Said it's gonna be a good one, just wait and see. Jumped out of bed and ran outside." Naruto, hopped out his window, in nothing but his black shirt and boxers. His hat gone and the people looked at him as he went onto the roof and danced. Performing a great show.

"Feeling so extra, exstatified. It's the best day ever! It's the best day EVERRR!" He quickly sat down, "I'm so busy got nothing to do. Spent the last two hours just tying my shoe." Shoes magically popped onto Naruto's feet and he held a flower. "Every flower every grain of sand, is reaching out to shake my hand." He left the roof and onto solid ground. People gather around him, and started doing the cancan behind him. "It's the best day ever! It's the best day EVERRR!"

The group crowded around the blonde, "Sometimes the little things start closing in on me. When I'm feeling down, I wanna lose that frown, I stick my head out the window and I look around!" Suddenly, everyone was lying on the grass, staring up at the clouds hovering above. His teammates all around Naruto. "Those clouds don't scare me, they can't disguise. This magic that's happening right before my eyes."

A change of scene, the boy's song had many more scenes than Sasuke's. A candle lit for two. A table set for two. Sasuke was seated in one chair, Naruto looked from his teammate to the full moon. "Soon Mister Moon will be shining bright, so the best day every can last all night. YEAH! The best ever's gonna last all night now!"

CUT

No more music, no more Sasuke, no more candles or singing. A pitch black television screen.

A cry.

Tears. Sobbing.

"What's wrong?" Naruto asked. He appeared, with a young boy. The boy sat alone, fearful, crying his little heart out.

Something wet. Naruto reached for his face, and wiped his cheek. Were these his tears? Had something happened to his true love? Had something happened to him? Was he dead? Was this the feeling of death?

A plunge into the ocean. There's no air in the ocean. Was this that feeling that Sasuke had been talking about? This choking sensation that never stopped? This painful experience that he had to feel alone.

Relief.

But it was so cold. Thorns made of icicles, dug themselves everywhere in his body. He clutched for blankets, clutched for things that weren't there.

"Sasuke." Escaped his lips, a warmth. Everything was back to normal. He wasn't alone. Naruto's eyes flickered open. Sasuke was above him, looking down at him with….kind eyes. He back away from Naruto, and stood.

"Loser." He muttered, "Hurry up and get ready Naruto, we've been waiting forever. Sakura wouldn't come in here, so I had to be the one to wake you. Did you forget about our mission?" Sasuke seemed so different. No he wasn't different, just his usually self.

Naruto blinked, and sat up in his bed. He still wasn't quite sure of what had just happened.

Sasuke sighed, "Idiot, I'm not gonna stand here and wait for you. We're leaving in five minutes. Either you get ready soon, or we leave without you." Sasuke moved towards the door.

"Fine then Sasuke, I'll still be there before you." Naruto jeered, ready to bite his head off.

Sasuke smirked, "See you there loser." He replied, then left the room.

The door shut, and both boys smiled. Their love hate relationship couldn't be any better. But the darkness within ones heart, would tear them apart. If the seven sins weren't so deadly…would we commit them more often?

……………

**Yeah, this chapter was a bit shorter than the other one. But what can I say? The point was still gotten across right? Hopefully? No? Yes? Um….Okay. The first line, "Better off as lovers and not the other way around." That is part of the lyrics of the next chapter. It's a Fall Out Boy song, so if you wanna guess what it is, be my guest. Anyway, next chapter will be a Naruto and Sasuke duet. They shall be singing together, and then the end. The last chapter. The song chosen this time is called Best Day Ever by Spongebob Squarepants. It just popped out to me as a Naruto song.**


	3. Best Friends, Exfriends Till the End

**It's been forever since I've updated. I'm so sorry. But FINALLY I have gotten off my sorry butt and written another chapter for you before school starts. I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but this is not the last chapter. I have decided to make one more. It will be a big finale with everyone (mostly Sasuke and Naruto though). So hope your happy about this sudden change and enjoy this chapter. **

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Oh happy days.

No rain, only sun. No sorrow or pain, only happiness and cheerful rants about summer.

The mission a success, there wasn't usually quarrels between teammates, and all seemed calm. Though it seemed that there was something going on between the Uchiha and Uzumaki, but no one could figure it out. Countless fangirls who were just "checking" on Sasuke-kun at night saw him leave, but to where? One quiet girl even revealed that she had seen him with a blonde racing through the city, windows down in the back of yellow checkered cars.

Who was this blonde? Who had their horrid little finger wrapped around on the fangirls' Sasuke-kun?

Blonde…hhhmmmm…..Ino? No she definitely wasn't his type.

Tsunade? She's not a pedophile like some people, KAKASHI! No, I'm just kidding. OROCHIMARU! Ehm..

Deidara? He hadn't even set foot inside the village hidden in the leaves yet.

This puzzled them. Did anyone else have blonde hair?

Naruto, but Sasuke disliked him. They were rivals. They always fought. There was that one time when Naruto "accidentally" kissed Sasuke but that has nothing to do with this. Haruno Sakura head of the fangirls of Sasuke Association devised a plan to stalk ehm,…follow Sasuke to find out this hidden lover.

Pitch black. A ninja hidden in disguise, in a bush. He mustered himself the courage to leave his home once again. His hair and eyes as dark as night and his love as bright as day. He stopped in the middle of a deserted street. No one lived on this street but the one ninja himself. This was the Uchiha complex. Lonesome.

Brighter than the sun itself crept down to the door and knocked the secret knock. It sounded a bit like it's a small world. Oh he couldn't wait to go to Disneyworld with Sasuke-kun, it was gonna be so fun!

FOCUS!

He slipped through a small crack in the door and rushed to him.

Guitar solo.

"I wrote a goodbye note in lipstick on your arm when you passed out. I couldn't bring myself to call, except to call it quits." Pitch black hair boy, SASUKE, sang. He inturn ran to his partner and they joined hands; holding each tight. "Best friends ex-friends till the end better off as lovers and not the other way around." Naruto led Sasuke to a checkered car, the blonde in the drivers seat and the raven-hair in passenger. He started the car up and they proceeded to drive. "Racing through the city windows down, in the back of yellow checkered cars."

While the car still went they jumped out. Landing perfectly on their feet. Naruto leaned forward, "You're wrong."

Uchiha now leaned forward as the other leaned back, "Are we all wrong?"

Uzumaki leaned forward in return, Sasuke leaning back, "You're wrong."

Sasuke did as before, and so did Naruto. "Are we all wrong?"

Naruto took his blue eyes off Sasuke and pointed to the city, "This city says…"

"Come hell or high water." The ebony eyed one sang, now it was the others turn

"Well I'm feeling hot and wet." Naruto jumped into Sasuke's arms and they peered into each other's soul as Sasuke echoed. "I can't commit to a thing be it heart or hospital."

He dropped Naruto and a change of scene came. Naruto wore a black tuxedo and Sasuke wore….a white….dress…….They stood at an alter, and sung. "Best friends ex-friends till the end better off as lovers and not the other way around."

Now they were in a yellow checkered limo, cans dragging from the bumpers. The couple sat on the roof, hold a sign that read 'Just married'. "Racing through the city windows down, in the back of yellow checkered cars."

Different scenery. Naruto with curlers in his hair, and Sasuke holding a baby as the fought. "You're wrong." Rang Naruto's voice.

"Are we all wrong?" Sasuke sang in reply.

"You're wrong."

"Are we all wrong?"

Ino grabbed a bang and hurled. Sakura sat next to her with eyes twitching. Fangirls around them had fainted or killed themselves. Man was this odd.

Now they were in black, dancing on graves. "The tombstones were waiting, they were half-engraved. They knew it was over, just didn't know the date!"

"Hey that's my name!" Ino pointed out in pure horror. "My name is there too!" Sakura chimed in, "HEY OUR NAMES ARE THERE TOO!" The other girls rang, what the hell was going on?

Though they had no time to issue out the severe pain on Naruto that they felt for the scene was over. Sasuke lay in a bed, Naruto by his side; gripping his hand tight. "I cast a spell over the west to make you think of me the same way I think of you. This is a love song in my own way, happily ever after below the waist." Naruto jumped into the bed after Sasuke.

They were……

"HOLY SHIT!" The group screamed. This was just too much, their little eyes were burning. Dying a death of jealous rage. They could not see, so tore off their ears to not hear the cursed sins performed infront of them. They're insane hearts pumping faster to get blood to places of mass murder. Each lay dead eyes and ears missing and thrown around.

An evil cackle, no more fangirls.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Red hot mess, bodies, the nightmare. It wasn't fair, it wasn't fair! Mother, father, auntie, uncle. Why? Why did he do this?

He was hot and wet, sticky sweat poured down his temple and dripped onto his chest. The sun next to him. He was safe with him. The blonde turned and sat up, "You okay?" He asked, the boy had clearly woken him up. Sasuke nodded, "Yeah Naruto I'm fine, go back to sleep."

They lay back down, facing each other, eyes closed.

Had they really killed all those fangirls? Well they'll now soon enough.

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**NO FANGIRL WAS KILLED IN THE MAKING OF THIS STORY. **

**Now that we got that clear, I hope you liked it. If you have a bad memory there is another chapter. The song in this chapter is called Bang the Doldrums by Fall Out Boy. I made a dance for this song, but I couldn't describe it well enough for Sasuke and Naruto to perform, so they didn't. If you have the kind of mind that I do, you can think of what happened between them to kill the fangirls. Anyway, this chapter was longer! Yay! So happy. The song actually goes on longer, but then my story would have been way to long. So long, farewell. Please review.**


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